The Big Cheese

Happy Father's Day everyone!

I started to write this post that was a story about my dad and me and our relationship through the years.  How him buying my first snowboard when I was eighteen would lead me to where I am today.  How he bought my first ticket to Burning Man, again altering my life and helping me to become the person I am today.  Yes, Burning Man can do that for you.  How he became the Big Cheese and how everyone knows him, loves him and has a great story about him.  It became a much bigger story than I had anticipated.  We've really been through a lot over the years.  Before he was the Big Cheese and after.  I am going to save that story for another time. I still wanted to share something that would sum up my dad and give you a taste of the kind of guy he is.  His sense of humor is like no other.

Before Kyle asked me to marry him, he of course had to ask for my dad's blessing.  My dad knew something was up when Kyle asked him out for drinks one night.  My dad came prepared.  As Kyle asked for my dad's blessing, my dad handed him a piece of paper and asked Kyle to fill it out for him.  The following is my dad's hilarious way of saying, "welcome to this crazy family..."

Potential Son-in-Law Questionnaire

Can you afford Lisa?

Will you be a loyal husband?

Do you have a prison record?

(Drunk and disorderly doesn’t count)

What size diamond (number of karats) did you purchase? Should be equivalent to two months gross salary.

When can we expect a grandchild?

(Is this a shotgun wedding?)

Would you consider naming him/her after a grandparent, specifically me or Squeeze? (We’re not that concerned about the other grandparents.)

In becoming a member of  “Family Fromage”, will you be attending Burning Man with the rest of the family?

Will there be fire spinning at your wedding?

Lisa has a lot of, well let’s just say freaky circus friends from Cirque Berzerk and Wandering Marionettes (fire breathers, stilters, dancers and aerialist and such) will they be invited to the wedding?

What kind of music will be played at the reception?

(Check all that apply) (No Trance please)

Dubstep           House              Progressive                   Breaks (Funky Breaks could work)

Trip Hop          Glitch            Deep House                 Hip Hop

Bassnectar would be great 

Do you have plans to buy a house? LA County? Orange County?

Will it be large enough for in-laws (specifically Squeeze and I) to move in at some point? (We’re not that concerned about the other in-laws.)

Do you intend to snowboard with your future father-in-law?

Preferences:

(Check all that apply)

Irish Whiskey               Scotch              Bourbon           Vodka              Gin         Goldschlager

Budweiser                    PBR                 Imports            Micro Brews

Sativa               Indica


And in case you were wondering, Kyle filled it out on the spot, said no to fire-spinning, then proceeded to drink whiskey with his soon-to-be father-in-law.  The rest is history.